Where am I?

Well, I wanted to keep my blog up to date as I went through my chemo last week, but with a clouded head and little energy I found the idea of putting thoughts to cyberspace a little daunting. So, a week has gone by and I don't know how clearly my thoughts will come over, but I'm going to give it a try nonetheless.

Trying not to dwell on this thing too much, I'm going to try and relay as quickly and succinctly what the first week of chemo was like. Bottom line it was a whirlwind. The whole thing has been a whirlwind. Everyday before I began treatment I got to get blood drawn...lucky me! I could never be a drug addict...especially with needles...my arms are bruised from the IV's and the blood draws. By the way...I am only getting the EP protocol (Etoposide and Platinol (Cisplatin)) and didn't have to do the Bleomycin.

Monday: Blood draw, doctor visit (Dr. Sui - another oncologist on the team whom will be available to me in the early parts of the week), and treatment (about 4 hours in the treatment area). Tuesday: Blood draw, treatment. Wednesday: Doctor visit (Dr. Aschtgen - Naturopatic Oncologist), blood draw, treatment (Larry Schorno kept me company and drove me home. He's a super compassionate, love-filled man, whom recently lost his wife to cancer, and provided great company and conversation). Thursday: Blood draw, doctor's visit (Dr. Wang - my oncologist), treatment, and accupuncture appointment (I'm trying everything, and this was very relaxing...and I was almost completely unaware of these needeles...they felt like little thumps). Friday: Blood draw and treatment (E.J. Curry, who's basically a family member, picked me up and brought me home. Friday ended up taking longer than I thought it should, but things can be pretty busy in the treatment area. E.J. was a lot of fun and we teased each other about fighting alzheimer's as we tried to finish crossword puzzles!)

How have I felt? Physically: tired, weakend, fatigued, achy, nauseous, bloated, dizzy, gut-bound, forgetful, and spacey. Mentally/Emotionally: scared, weak, sad, enthusiastic, drained, stressed, angry, weak of character. I'm positive about this whole thing, and how could I not be. I'm in the "good prognosis" category of a cancer that has a better than 90% 'cure' rate...I was strong and fit going into it all and that will only help me as my body continues to get exposed to the build up of toxins from the chemo.

Of the many lessons that cancer has to teach me, one is to look at myself in a very raw way. To show me the ways I can improve myself. It's not always easy looking at oneself in such a way, and cancer has forced me to continue evaluating me as a person...now, in a much more primal way. Life is good!! I love you all!!